Ive wanted to but i think of everything i will leave behind... as much as they drive me crazy my family, my girl, painting, bmx like i dont think its worth it... Ive tried but dont have the balls...
i just started listening to klashnekoff from the UK hes some real shit homes. we should probly get back on topic now.
why dont you do something about it? go outside, have some fun, buy yourself a new toy, just relax for a while, find something you really enjoy doing. and keep doing that thing. theres always something to look forward to, no matter what situation your in. hit me up on msn: [email protected] or aim: burgess19
i'm still right there with you. i was with her for 6 months, and during that half year, i put everything else that had once mattered to me aside, so she was really the absolute only thing in my life that mattered to me. then it ended abruptly, so i was in a huge fucking rut. a little over a month later, i'm still there, but i've been SLOWLY inching out of it. i've found the only things that even slightly help are writing songs/poems and playing guitar. it's harder too because we're still "best friends", so i discuss all of this shit with her (which is insanely hard, because i then feel bad about making her feel guilty). and since we still know eachother, and i still have that complete yearning for her, she disregards it, and goes her own way, and continues to break promises she made when she broke up with me. which just keeps throwing me back in this cycle, and making me more and more miserable. yesterday was the first time in my entire life that i actually considered suicide. i know all about that whole "she's just a girl, and everyone goes through that at one time or another", but my life had basically no purpose before she came. and now i'm right back there, except lower, because i've forgotten how to make the best of what i have. i highly doubt i really will go through with it, but it's just been floating around my head constantly for a couple days. the only thing i really have to look forward to all day is being able to talk to her on the phone for a few minutes and say goodnight to her each night. which i thank god i can still do. i've just grown to be so cynical and selfish, which makes me loathe myself on top of all of it. the only real friends i have right now are my words and my guitar. all art and graffiti and everything else bores me now.
Suicide? Not so much on the lines for me. Cutting, Burning. Relives most stress on myself, I'm more concentrated on the cut or the burn then what i was stressing out for. Makes you feel alive. Or to note on your Fuck up, Some People cut over small mistakes or cut over something that Hurt a friend or family member just as much as it hurt you. Most Of the reasons why, i cut or burn. =\ Knowing my girlfriend cutts Is tottaly hard on me, Which is an addiction for the both of us. Were both Slowing down on the scars, Helping eachother when possible. .Cutting like meth, If anyone Needs advice or Help just message me, im gladly here for anyone.
i dont believe that shit, but w.e and some people believe its possible to live through, so meh live your life, and make the best of it. you could be hit by a car tommorow, just be grateful for what you have.
I also heard it was spose to happen in 1992 Or something like that? I believe it now, But chances are ill be dead before then, If not then fuck. im gunna get fucken trashed and wacked. and Enjoy a good ol' apocalypse
it's easier said than done... but i too will be getting absolutely fucked up beyond the ability to function.
AHahhah, That will be such a night to remember, To bad though. Aha, Oh well. Totally gunna be worth it, Maybe
I'm sure it's been said before, so I don't want to sound like a broken record, but one of the best things you can do is be available for your friends to talk to. If you're not going through a particularly rough time, maybe you have a friend who is. Just be a good friend and be there, even if you can't think of something to say. Then later on, when you're the one who's in a spot, they'll be there for you to lean on. I think graff is one of those areas where a lot of people, especially the younger ones (and I'm not picking on anyone here, just so you know) feel like they have to prove how tough they are. But let me tell you there is no shame in sharing your feelings with your friends. There is no shame in crying. Anyone who tells you otherwise probably has their own issues that they haven't worked out yet. Talk to your crew. Share your feelings. If you can trust them to watch your back while you're writing, you should be able to trust them to be there for you when you need a shoulder to lean on. One person trying to move a piano is practically impossible. But when two or three or four others help out, suddenly the burden becomes more bearable. I hope this hasn't been a complete waste of a post.
cozmo, you have such a philosophical mind, you sound like my best friend, he's always there for me when i need him no matter what, at the drop of the hat even if we have some sort of beef between us. respect.
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^ that definantly wasnt a pointless post. i just figured out my first girl friend that i didnt even get to see yet doesnt want to go out no more. so i hope i remember what you said if i start losing it. She was the only thing that kept me thinking positive for the last few days. cus she was sposed to go to my house tommmorow. but i think ill be ok, i think it was all for the good anyway cus i need more time to do graff more cus i never do it and im starting to like some chick now. and shes the perfect girl for me to.