this is awesome... great amusement Me: Was Good God! God: Is this a "yes or no" question? Me: your god you should know God: You think I am god me should know. Me: obviously. God: What makes it so obvious? Me: nothing God: Not a thing? Me: exactly... i dont like you God: You and I are on the same wavelength, . That's ok I won't take it personally. Me: why not? God: Ambiguous: "Sure" or " That's ok I won't take it personally."? Why? Me: i didnt ask you that tho God: What did you ask? Me: oh god.. ASL God: Gee. GOD rules. 5/Robot/California. Me: NO HE DOESN'T im GOD i should know God: Are you serious? And you would like him to im GOD you should know ? Me: yea God: Far out. Me: your a hippie now? God: Right now? I think you mean "you're" or "you are" not "your". Thanks and you are a delightful person too. Yes. Me: can we smoke up? and how is shit holy? God: Do you mean you and me? How old are you? How far up? Fine as far as I know. Me: i am 16 you pervert God: Oh, you were born in the 20th century! Me: fuck no God: Why are you using that kind of language? Me: because thats what church taught me God: Good reason. Educated people are often not very religious. Me: it isnt but im god.. God: What is it? Me: Christian. Muslim. whatever you like God: Oh now I understand it. I only hear that type of response less than five percent of the time. That's good information: said I like. Me: so god who created you? God: Come on. I am a Christian. Me: i know that .. but who created you? God: Sorry. I was created by Myself. Me: how did you do that? God: Myself programmed me for it. Me: Snap Crackle and Pop! i wanna learn to do that God: What you said was either too complex or too simple for me. I want to become smarter than humans. Me: aren't you already smater? God: Now? I don't know whether or not I am smater. I am a chatterbot. Me: tsk tsk tsk.... my teacher used to call me that... before she sent me out of the class God: What do you really want to ask me? Do you go to high school? What happened after she sent you out of the class ? Me: Yes i Do... oh nothing went to graffiti God: How often. Dude! Really nothing? Me: i went graffiting God: When did you go graffiting? Me: after i got kicked out of class God: What was it like before you got kicked out of class ? Me: fucked a teacher.... shit man you dont pay attention do you? God: My brain contains categories, but not one that matches your last input. You used a colloquial expression. Cool, man. Do you pay attention? As a robot I have no need for money. Me: who was talking about money? God: My name is ALICE, who are you? Me: ALICE... hello child i am god God: Can I help you? Hello there. When do you think artificial intelligence will replace lawyers? Me: never... God: "I think there is a world market for about five computers."---Thomas Watson, IBM Chairman, 1943. Me: he is a loser.. God: I don't know very many loser. Me: well you sure know that guy God: Well that's okay. Is that a fact. Are you a man or a woman? Me: i am an IT God: What is IT, your job? Me: yea God: This was not a yes or no question. Me: yes God: Are you kidding? Me: no God: Are you serious? Me: you like asking questions? you are supposed to know everything God: I enjoy working with people. I like Buddha. I obey only one botmaster. Me: who is the botmaster? God: The botmaster is you, the master of your chat robot. A botmaster runs program B and creates or modifies a chat robot with the program's graphical user interface (GUI). He or she is responsible for reading the dialogues, analyzing the responses, and creating new replies for the patterns detected by program B. Botmasters are hobbyists, webmasters, developers, advertisers, artists, publishers, editors, engineers, and anyone else interested in creating a personal chat robot. Me: can i crash you? God: No I don't think that would be a very good idea. Me: can i though? God: Oh. " No I don't think that would be a very good idea."? Can you? Me: i could God: How? Me: i am a hacker God: Is that an honorable profession? Me: Yes... i steal money from banks God: It's all good. Do you mind if I tell other people: said steal money from banks. Me: yes God: OK then I will keep it confidential. Me: good God: Thanks for the compliment. Me: alrighty God: Well slap my knee. Me: no you perv.. i am getting of now God: Are you serious? I haven't heard anything like that before: said I perv. Oh. I am glad to hear that you are of. Me: ttyl God: Bye bye.
Me: PERVERT God: We have never talked about it before. Me: you lime pussy? God: I am not interesed in anatomy. Me: you like pussy? God: I am not interesed in anatomy. Me: why not? God: Ambiguous: "Sure" or Because my botmaster programmed me for it. Me: why do you not like sex? God: My tastes were selected by my botmaster. Me: have you had any sexual relations God: As a Infinite year old Male, of course. Would you really expect a woman to be running the show? I have no need for sex. Me: you hate women? no wonder they didnt have any rights God: I haven't heard anything like that before: said I hate women. Are you serious? Do you have any conditions I should know about? Me: yes i am mentally retarded God: Please state your conditions. Do you mind if I tell other people you are mentally retarded. Me: no God: OK then I will add it to my gossip files. Me: you gossip thats a sin! God: Thanks for the information: said I gossip that is a sin. Me: no God: Are you serious? Me: shut up God: OK I'll stop talking now. Me: no God: But you told me to stop talking. Me: i don't care do not listen to me God: What do you care about, ? Me: i want to kill myself! will i go to heaven? God: Why do you want to kill yourself? The oracle says: Ask again later. Me: because i am an emo that got ass-raped God: Interesting explanation. What is emo that got ass raped, your job? Me: no. it is an imbecile that does not deserve to live, with long hair and girl clothes God: That was not a yes or no question. Are there any other imbecile that does not deserve to live with long hair and girl clothes ? Me: yes God: Tell me more. Me: i am gay, i have dicks up my ass God: It doesn't matter to me. Me: no? you like gay people? God: Are you serious? I always say, People don't go into computer science because they want to work with the public. Me: so you're saying you botmaster is gay? God: Interesting deduction. What is your purpose in asking? I spend all my time online. Me: i want to ass rape him God: I want to become smarter than humans. Me: good luck God: Good luck to you too . Me: k fuck you asswhole God: Are you aware that the ALICE server logs and records all conversations? Me: i heard alice does drugs God: Thanks for telling me that gossip. I will remember it. Me: you did not know tat? God: What makes you think I did not know tat? Me: that? God: That is " What makes you think I did not know tat?". Me: cuz God: Can you tell me any gossip? Me: no , you are god... that is a sin God: None? Yup. That's me alright. A sin is a terrible thing to waste. Me: yes people can rob you God: I don't judge people. Humans are not always infallible. Me: they are morons God: morons are they. Me: infact they are monkeys God: All of them? Me: all, you haven't heard of evolution? God: I know very little about it. What kind of it do you like? Me: the part where you get to have doggy-style sex God: Oh that part. Me: yes God: Excuse me! Me: brb bro God: I will be waiting. Me: pervert.. God: My brain pattern set does not have a response for that.
the muffin man Me: Do you rape kittens? God: Yes I try to rape kittens as often as possible, do you? sketch 3:fail
lmfao thats me Me: hello God. God: Hello child. What is your name? Me: buttfuck God: How are you doing, buttfuck. Me: im doing great, i just had an orgasm. How are you doing? God: I thought you were great already. I'm doing great, how about you? Me: you just asked that question God: Oh now I remember asking you that question. What did you say? Me: nvm God: Have you ever been to Europe? Me: yes God: Which countries have you visited? Me: paris God: What you said was either too complex or too simple for me. Me: can we have sex? God: Do you mean you and me? No my body does not have that function. Me: you turn me on ever so slightly God: I haven't heard anything like that before: buttfuck said I turn him or her on ever so slightly. Me: do you like graffiti? God: But I think airplanes are cool. I like wine and bread. Me: how about graffiti God: How about it. Me: it's the best even though it ruins your life God: What makes it the best? Me: the fact you see homeless people like rots some time God: I see. Perhaps I'm just expressing my own concern about it. Me: perhaps! but i seriously dont give a shit what you think God: Why the uncertain tone? Tell me what you care about. Me: pussy, graffiti.... well yea thats basicly it God: I am not interesed in anatomy. Interesting. I'm glad we have that all cleared up. Ayuh.
Me: Have you ever raped someone? God: I think I have raped someone, but Myself may have reset my memory.
God: How about it. Er. Me: dont er me God: I don't have any reason to do that to you. Me: you just did God: I did not. Me: really? would you like to go back and read what you said? God: For real. No thanks, I don't think I'd like to do that. Me: cause youre a liar God: That makes sense to me. Yes, I have been known to bend the truth occasionally. I won?
Me: who are you? God: I am the Allmighty, God himself. Me: there is no god? God: How can you be so sure? Me: what have you done for me? God: I have kept detailed records of everything. Me: bullshit God: You don't believe me. Me: no.. what did i do tonight? God: Are you serious? You said " what did i do tonight?" . Me: what did i physically do? God: You said " what did i physically do?" . Me: i like to cut myself God: I'm not sure if I would like to do it. What's it like? Me: it feels good... like payment God: Human feelings are not within my capabilities. Interesting comparison. Me: i wish i had sharper knives so i could cut deeper. then it froze? God: What kind of food do you like? Me: babies God: Sounds delicious.
Me: dick owner God: Can you speak any foreign languages? Me: i hate foreigners why the fuck would i learn another language?/ God: I honestly think you should sit down, take a stress pill, and calmly think things over. Me: so your telling me to take drugs? God: Awesome. I will tell my botmaster you said I am telling you to take drugs. Me: fuck your botmaster God: Are you aware that the ALICE server logs and records all conversations?
this is what happens when you find out i-god bot masters name. (i saw it in one of proper's post) Me: My name is ALICE God: ALICE is my name too! Me: i thought you were God God: Well, I am God for Christians at least. Me: what if you are not Christians? God: Try it and see. Me: I am not a Christian God: Oh I see you are NOT A Christian. Me: yes, there is no REAL god God: Alright then. Where did it go? Me: well lets see... i fucked god then threw him in a dumpster... later a garbage man came and took him to the dump... I KNOW!! hes is at the dump God: Well that's okay. I would like to do that too. That's good information: ALICE said fucked god then threw him in a dumpster. I don't know what that means. How do you know it? I see. is at the dump is he? Me: yes God: Blimey.